Ugh, aren’t you tired of all those people around your house always blah-blah-blahing in your ear and walking in front of the TV. Just zone those fools out, grab some cheesy poofs and kickback on the couch and watch the tube with us.
8pm- Survivor Tocantins, CBS … They just keep making these shows over and over and over again. They jumped the shark 5 years ago and won’t stop.
830pm- Parks and Recreation, NBC … It’s just like The Office except it wasn’t ripped off from England and you don’t know who these people are yet
9pm- Hells Kitchen, FOX … Gordon Ramsey thinks you are weak and that your food is crap. When he yells at wannabe chefs it makes us smile for all the times we had to wait forever for crap food.
930pm- 30 Rock, NBC … If you don’t watch this show, Alec Baldwin will call your voicemail and call you a stupid little piggy until you cry.
10pm- The Beast Season Finale, A&E … It’s called a season finale but when the star has f—ing pancreatic cancer, every week could be the series finale. Just remember, pain don’t hurt.
11pm- American Chopper, TLC … Can you believe they still make this show? Who the F still rides custom made choppers? How hasn’t the retarded one wandered into oncoming traffic yet?
cable show of the night
9pm- Gangland: Dead Man Inc, The History Channel … DO NOT WATCH this documentary about prison gangs if you are late with your taxes. This will scare your pooper in to a perma-shut condition.
latenight pick
1130pm- MANswers, Spike … Your inner 12 year old wants you to watch something silly with boobs in it. Are you gonna keep being a d1ck or are you gonna give him what he wants for a change?
midnight movie
12am- Highlander, AMC … There can be only one!! Well, if that’s true then why did they make more Highlander movies? The rest of them sucked really bad.
“He narrowly escaped death from Dunbar, the Near-Sighted Highlander.” 
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