Hey buddy, good morning! Yeah, you just woke up. Feel ok? You shouldn’t, you made mess all over my house. Don’t get up, your clothes are still washing. That cut on your leg is from a Margarita glass you spiked on the ground.
Uncool Chad, you need to think about getting some help. Here’s the remote, watch whatever you want…there’s a bucket under the coffee table if you get sick again.
10pm- Pitchmen, DISCOVERY … A TV crew follows Billy Mays around for a while and WHAM he’s an a-hole. Say Wha? He’s hard to work with? No way? His products are crappy and come from shady sources? Now you lost me…
1030pm- RENO 911, Comedy Central … It’s a new episode. Emissaries from the Vatican come to see if the Reno is worthy of a Papal Visit. SPOILER ALERT: It’s not.
11pm- Sportscenter, ESPN … If this is the first SC you see all day, then prepare to have your mind blown. Turns out Brett Favre has become a cartoon bad-guy like WWE wrestlers do, hates the Packers now…made a rap video where he s–ts in a cheesehead.
1130pm- Zane’s Sex Chronicles, CINEMAX … 30 minute soft-core porn? Oh great TV geniuses, thank you for your blessing! One note though, enough with the saxophone. It’s not 1985 anymore.
midnight- A Fistful of Dynamite, IFC … Rod Stieger and James Coburn were the kind of men our fathers were trying to be…while they smoked at the bar during your little league games.
1am- Locked Up Abroad, NATGEO … If “Drug Mule in Southeast Asia” ever pops up on your monster.com job search, do not apply.
2am- Steve Wilkos Show, WGN … Jerry Springer’s bouncer Steve gets right in the stupid people’s face, tells them WHY they are stupid, HOW they are stupid and what they need to do to be LESS stupid.
Okay Chad, your pants are dry, get dressed and get out of my house. My kids will be up for school in a few hours…can you take the sick bucket with you?
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