This ‘personal grooming’ business is getting ri-gawdamn-diculous!
WTF? Before you actually shave your junkyard, you need a little more data and insider tips than a cartoon can provide…
1. Work up a b0ner before you start. Let it back down to light chub and then begin trimming. This isn’t for pervy reasons, it’s easier to handle and trim around then a shrively weiner. Shriveled weiners get cut.
2. Clean up your shake! There is going to be little flecks of junk hair all over and that sh1t is harder to get rid of than stripper glitter! Stand over the toilet or contain your operation in a closed shower. Don’t leave a dead squirrel at the bottom of the shower either!
3. No matter how much lotion you slather on your prickly bits, you will still be a itchy scratchy mess for a week at least. Sorry, but that’s the price you pay for a bigger looking donger.**
**Just so you know, if your dong is small it’s still going to be small when you shave off all your pubes. The “tree looks taller…” principle doesn’t apply for tiny wang. Those just end up looking like a pig’s nose in a parking lot.
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