From the earliest days of television sitcom fathers have taken center stage. And while plenty of TV dads have represented a fatherly ideal, there have been some who existed simply to remind us that our own dads weren’t actually that bad. Of course, their non-conventional, sometimes horrific parenting is what made them so interesting and funny. So if your father didn’t live up to even a minimal parenting standard, that just means he was interesting and funny as opposed to oppressive and deficient.
10. Edward Stratton III
Sure, the rich, immature father on Silver Spoons seemed like the dad we all wanted, but that’s just because he had room full of video games. Everyone forgets that ES-3 didn’t even know he had a son until Rick showed up at his door in the pilot episode. At least we knew The Ricker would eventually be able to afford the best therapy money could buy.
9. Frank Barone
As the patriarch of the Barone family on Everyone Loves Raymond Frank was as salty as they come. He took pride in having raised his sons the old fashioned way… by beating them down, stripping them of any sense of self-worth and NEVER saying I love you.
8. Fred Sanford
A junkyard is no place to raise your son. Even if that son is in his thirties. This dad from Sanford and Son didn’t exactly win himself any “father-of-the year” points by calling Lamont “dummy” about ten times an episode. Of course, to be fair, he called everyone dummy.
7. Frank Costanza
Loud, ornery, obnoxious, and not the least bit concerned when his son George goes missing and is assumed to be dead. On the bright side, this Seinfeld dad did create the all-inclusive holiday Festivus and spoke for all Yankee fans when he called out George Steinbrenner for trading Jay Buhner.
6. Any Fat Animated Father on Fox
What do Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, and Hank Hill all have in common? All three are fat, beer swilling dads who possess low IQs and an inability to communicate on a mature level. Oh yeah, and they’re all animated in Korea.
5. Ari Gold
The foul-mouthed super agent on Entourage is the father anyone would want… provided that anyone is a drunken frat boy. Sure, he occasionally shows a softer side, but most of the time Ari can be seen avoiding his family, running out on the holiest of holidays, and trying to bribe headmasters at his daughter’s private school.
4. George Bluth
On Arrested Development, the founder of the Bluth Company cooked the corporate books, ran around on his wife, and manipulated his kids at every turn. And when the Bluth children needed to learn valuable life lessons, he regularly hired a one-armed man to scare the crap out of them.
3. Archie Bunker
Sure, this All in the Family dad was a loud-mouthed bigot who rarely left the comfort of his Lazy Boy, but the real reason he’s high on this list is because he allowed his only daughter to marry a balding Rob Reiner. And that’s inexcusable.
2. Nick Tortelli
There are several words that can be used to describe the ex-husband of Cheers waitress, Carla Tortelli. Sleazy. Inarticulate. Deadbeat. Slimy. Foul. Despicable. Furry. Fatherly, on the other hand… not so much.
1. Al Bundy
It’s always nice to be the best at something. And in Al Bundy’s case, he’s the best at being the worst. No TV father before or since Married… with Children has been as lackluster a parent as this sloppy shoe salesman. In other words, he’s the Tiger Woods of bad dads.
This list was written by Dave Metrick, a freelance writer and perpetual procrastinator who sometimes writes a blog.
Comments