Some of them are from the hills. Some are from the dales. Others are from trailer parks, hollers, and even Springfield. Many are kind, some are wise, most are outrageously broad stereotypes. They don’t even have to be Southern, but it helps. They’re the 12 Greatest Backwoods Hayseeds On TV. Please enjoy. As Hank Williams Jr. would say, “Are you ready for some hayseeds?” (He wouldn’t actually say that.)
12. Cletus The Slack-Jawed Yokel
One of the greatest minor Simpsons characters ever, which is saying something, because minor Simpsons characters number into the thousands. Also has the best theme song of any character on this list.
11. Tyler From SNL’s “Appalachian Emergency Room”
Not all backwoods hayseeds need medical attention after getting their privates wedged into inanimate objects during ill-advised sexcapades. But for those who do, it must be nice to finally see themselves represented on tv. “I’m not alone,” they must think, as they attempt to pry a squeeze bottle of store-brand mustard off their penis.
10. My Name Is Earl’s Randy
Randy is sweet, and giving, and borderline retarded. We felt bad for him upon learning that NBC had canceled Earl, until we remembered that he’s just a fictional character, and now Ethan Suplee can go back to earning real money signing head shots at Kevin Smith’s comic book store.
9. Ernest T. Bass From The Andy Griffith Show
Ernest T. Bass was the mountain-bred, rock-throwing counterpoint to Sheriff Andy Taylor’s easy-going Southern gentleman. He was played by Howard Morris, who, among many, many other roles, also provided the voice for Gopher on Winnie The Pooh and Jughead on the animated Archie shows. We apologize for being so old.
8. Billy Ray Cyrus as Dr. Clint “Doc” Cassidy
We put Billy Ray Cyrus’ Doc character on this list mainly so we could embed the following amazing video. We have never seen Doc, but based on this, it looks amazing and hilarious and we should all be watching it right now.
7. The Dukes Of Hazzard’s Uncle Jesse
Uncle Jesse was feisty, and wise, and rocked an amazing beard. We’re sorry, Willie Nelson, but your Uncle Jesse doesn’t compare to the wisdom, feistiness, and beard-rocking of Denver Pyle. Don’t be sad, Willie Nelson. Speaking of sad, this has to be the saddest clip ever from The Dukes Of Hazzard. Emmy noms for James Best and Denver Pyle!
6. Jethro Bodine From The Beverly Hillbillies
Dumb and rich, comically accented and tragically self-confident– Jethro should have run for president.
5. 30 Rock’s Kenneth The Page
Speaking of Emmys, Jack McBrayer just received an Emmy nomination for his portrayal of wide-eyed innocent NBC page Kenneth Parcell. Hailing from Stone Mountain, Georgia, Kenneth has brought his backwoods hayseedery to the Big Apple. If there’s one thing New York needs, it’s a little hayseedery.
4. The McPoyles From It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
They live in trailers and love to inbreed. They make the list.
3. Early Cuyler From Squidbillies
This Squidbillies character definitely makes up for some of the wisdom, sweetness, and innocence of other backwoods hayseeds on this list. Plus, Unknown Hinson! (Unknown Hinson is good.)
2. Newhart’s Larry, Darryl And Darryl
Perhaps the greatest fictional hayseeds of all time. Plus, William Sanderson has been on Newhart, Deadwood, and Lost, which makes him an expert in dealing with stammering, cursing, and incomprehensible time-travel backstories.
1. Hee Haw’s Junior Samples
All these characters are great, but sometimes made-up backwoods hayseeds just can’t compete with the real thing.
Still hungry for lists? Grab you a plate:
28 Strangest Comic Books Based On TV Shows
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