Now a whole bunch of Trekkies can smell as boldly as no man has smelled before. Stinky geeks can line up to get the new “Star Trek” cologne Tiberius. From what we can tell, it offers the scent of Tribbles and antimatter. Either way, it’s not going to be helping to remove any space panties any time soon.
This the first cologne to be offered to the public based off a popular TV program. We’ve done the research and discovered there was quite the line of television scents. We’ve looked around and found the best the perfume counter had to offer. When we say best, we mean the worst. Here are the 10 Worst Colognes Based Off Television Shows.
10. Mystery inspired by “The Pick-Up Artist”
If you want to get the chicks with your moves and flair, then you also need a cologne that’s going to knock them off their feet, and into your car, and allow you to carry them into your bedroom and have them not remember anything the next day.
9. Trebeck inspired by “Jeopardy”
What is… that smell? It’s the odor of inquisitive manliness. Trebeck cologne left many men asking the question “Why do women keep running away from me?”
8. Dharma inspired by “Lost”
People were really confused by the smell. It had scents of the sea and Hurley.
7. Cesar Millan inspired by “The Dog Whisperer”
Cesar’s cologne resembled the same formula of Febreeze and was designed more to mask odors and to repel large dogs. It was great for marking territory.
6. Arnold inspired by “Different Strokes”
“Whatcho smellin’ like Willis?” This was designed for black people who were sucked into a very white world who are trying to somewhat appear black again while wearing Polo shirts at a yacht club. There were reports that it also stunted growth.
5. Chris Hanson inspired by “Dateline: To Catch A Predator”
Sometimes when looking for that special someone you need something a little sweeter smelling as well as something that can fit in your pocket.
4. David Hasselhoff inspired by “Knight Rider”
A good cologne is taken internally then slowly released out through your pours. Hasselhoff cologne is a ‘working cologne’ that can be applied all day, starting from the moment you wake until you lose consciousness in your favorite chair in the afternoon.
3. Tears inspired by “Glenn Beck”
This is made from the actual tears of Glenn Beck. This cologne was taken off the shelves when it was learned that it caused blindness and dementia in Republicans.
2 Uncle Jesse inspired by “Dukes of Hazzard”
Turned out it was just potato whiskey.
1. Fish inspired by “Barney Miller”
Fish was actually one of the greatest colognes ever made. It’s scent was described as “bliss” and “heaven.” Millions of dollars went into the research, development and testing of this product. It may have been the greatest scent made by man. It just had a really, REALLY crappy name.
Smell good with these posts: 7 People Nobody Ever Says Let ‘Me Smell Your Fingers’ To and the 10 Worst People To Sit Next To On An Airplane. (Hint, one stinks)
This piece was drunkenly put together by Bill Doty the Patron Saint of Internet Humor
Comments